Cancers are the most difficult of the signs to recognize and I often confuse them to my sad fate with fire signs. On the positive side, Cancers are passionate, intuitive, imaginative, careful, and protective. On the negative side, they are moody, touchy, clingy, and downright irrational.
Cancers rule the home. Cancer men create these incredibly perfect homes that just impress the heck out of anyone who enters. They are constantly remodeling and adding on to their homes (subconsciously a desire to extend their personal shell). My brother-in-law is a Cancer: he bought a cheap $175k home a few years ago and has since remodeled the kitchen, the entire floor space, the downstairs, installed an extensive electronic system, redone the downstairs bathroom, redone the landscape, and of course put up a fence. Cancer men need a dream home where they can just relax, while Cancer women like places where they can play den mother to a big family.
Cancers love unconditionally, although that doesn't mean they are true lovers. The problem with Cancer is that they tend to run from one love affair to another, but those who have committed themselves commit forever. Cancers are fiercely loyal to friends and family and will die for them. They are actually a little over-protective and it is common for Cancer mothers to smother their children and prevent them from taking risks.
Cancers have a horrible inferiority complex. They brag a lot and you can usually recognize their insecurities by what they boast about. For example, one of my Cancer boyfriends was constantly talking about how horny he was for the women, but he was such a freaking putz when it came to relationships that it was pathetic.
Cancers hate it when other people, particularly loved ones, are successful. The best revenge against a Cancer is to outdo them, which is difficult because they are an ambitious sign. Cancers hate failure and they would rather give up than risk failing.
Cancers brood a lot. Self-pity is an art. They are self-absorbed and tend to lose track of other people's lives. I know a Cancer woman who dated a friend of mine a couple years ago. My friend died last year and she doesn't even know because she's too busy being morbid and popping pills to cure her woes.
Cancers are manipulative. They make good con-men. On the other side, they tend to be prone to flattery (although remember directly complimenting a Cancer is a no-no).
Cancers often have extensive hobbies. My brother-in-law collects CDs, DVDs, and home stereo systems. These collections are usually quite impressive and a sense of pride for the Cancer.
Cancers are passive-aggressive to the extreme. They hate being told what to do and they take revenge to an extreme. A typical Cancer revenge technique is to attempt suicide to get back at loved ones.
Lastly, they are procrastinators. Me mum was constantly at my brother-in-law's throat because he was always waiting until the last minute to do things and then he would end up running late. One time, he went to pick up flowers for my sister and got there so late that the store was closed.
Still interested in dating a Cancer? Okay. Once you have the 10 basic rules down pat, there is some more specific information to focus on practically when dating a Cancer. 5 points for planning a date with your Cancer:
1. Dress
Dressing for a Cancer is difficult and contradictory. Dress like you were going to church or meeting your Cancer's parents but still keep your wardrobe casual with a little sex appeal. Cancers are family oriented and like people who remind them of ministers or their parents. Dress in nice and simple one color pieces, silver or white are the best colors. Don't wear anything that would require more than two minutes to get dressed in. Cancers like a natural look. Organic fibers like cotton work best. Form-fitted but not tight or slutty. Cancers are a sensual sign and they appreciate clothes that show off their physique but not whorishly. Cancer's erotic zone is in the chest area so a shirt slightly unbuttoned would enhance your sex appeal.
2. Eat
Cancers are boring when it comes to food. They are picky and prone to either eating disorders or gluttony. They don't like flashy places or menus. They like someplace cozy and like home. Avoid the typical franchise restaurants and look more for mom and pop diners or stores. Breakfast (particularly all day breakfast) is Cancer's favorite meal of the day. A breakfast buffet would be perfect. Cancers also love seafood (being a water sign) including sushi joints. Because Cancers have such a profound fantasy life, stereotypical romantic dinners like French restaurants would work wonders. Or the opposite, most especially, cooking at home. The surest way to impress a Cancer over the dinner table is to invite their whole family out to a family-style restaurant and of course foot the bill (expect at least 15 people which includes parents, brothers and sisters, in-laws, and random friends who pop up at every holiday celebration).
3. Place
Cancers need an environment where they can be anonymous and invisible. This can take one of two forms. Cancers blend in well with the crowd so the more people around like a party or the mall on the weekend, the better. Don't make a scene though: Cancers want to be invisible. Likewise, an intimate, private locations with no one around for miles will also give Cancer that sense of protection and invisibility.
Cancer is a water sign so places by the water like a lake or pool or the beach are good places to go. Go swimming or feed the ducks, perhaps go to an aquarium or sailing or to a spa. If you can afford it, take her on a cruise.
Picnics with that traditional courtship and picnic baskets and sitting on a large blanket where the two of you can cuddle and watch the children play in the park is romance for your Cancer.
Cancers are often alcoholics. It is part of their desire for self-destruction. You can spice up any date by just adding alcohol. Bars would be the obvious place but you could also try wine-tasting or simply bringing a bottle of wine to your picnic or seaside date.
Anywhere with children would be perfect. I almost asked one of my Cancer boys to take me to Chuck E. Cheese but backed out. Playgrounds, Build A Bear, those babysitter spots in the malls where parents let their children run wild, birthday parties, etc.
Traditional romantic dates will fulfill Cancer's ideal fantasies. Cancer is a nostalgia sign so celebrate every possible celebration (like your first month anniversary or the anniversary of the day you met) in creative ways. If she is turning 23, buy her 23 presents and hold a scavenger hunt or have some creative way to send her the presents (using small children is perfect). Cancers would also love pretend dates like pretending you're a married couple and going to open houses or shopping for furniture or expensive clothes. Remember your flowers (morning glory, geranium, lily, lotus, magnolia, anything white) but remember never to tell a Cancer that you love them. Cancer is ruled by the Moon so a walk under the Moon or moonlight and candles is another romantic idea.
Cancer is also an artistic sign, particularly with music, so spicing up the romance with music (and alcohol, of course) is a must. Concerts, the opera, community events like Christmas concerts, and such are good dates. Cancers usually like hardcore cathartic music, anything with emotional power, ranging from heavy metal to opera. They also appreciate classic rock music, anything with a sense of nostalgia and conformity (meaning lots of people like it and so should your Cancer).
Movie-wise, Cancers are a sucker for a good comedy but also like anything melodramatic that allows them to purge their infinitely repressed emotions.
Cancers typically have extensive hobbies or collections. Find good stores to take them to that indulge these obsessions and let them run wild.
Find places that Cancer has already built an attachment to. Cancers don't like anything new so rely on the old fall backs every so often.
Plan dates involving their family. Cancers will more than likely have family routines like going out every Friday to the movies as a family. Likewise, get your Cancer involved with your family traditions.
Lastly, as the nostalgia sign, Cancers love looking for useless crap or adding to collections and hobbies. Yard sales and garage sales or thrift shops or antique stores are perfect places for a weekend getaway.
4. Talk
Cancers are one-sided conversationalist. They don't like to talk about personal things but they love listening to people talk.
To get your Cancer talking, ask them questions about:
- Their childhood
- Their family, particularly their mother
- Career aspirations
- Pet peeves
- Their dream home
- Where they live or have lived
5. Gifts
Cancers need ridiculously personal and intimate gifts that personify how you feel about them. The Heart of the Ocean from Titanic might be enough to satisfy your Cancer. If it is anything less than true love, Cancer will smile, hold a grudge, and then wallop you a couple years later.
Gifts should be homemade, crafted by hand, antique, personal artifacts, or expensive. Cancer wants your soul so you must bare it all unreserved.
Gifts for Cancer must have a personal touch, even if it is something as simple as sending out a card, calling (not) to say I love you, a small box of candy, or just that extra touch. I definitely recommend that extra touch so bring at least two presents: the actual present plus an added touch.
Whatever gifts you get for Cancer should be tailormade and non-interchangable with anyone else. Imagine that your gift was DNA-encoded just for your Cancer and wouldn't work for anyone else!
Present your gifts in stages. First, emphasize the importance of your Cancer. Build up the intimate ambiance. It is best that your Cancer knows what he or she is getting so don't worry about suspence. Present the main gift. Then present the secondary gift.
Emphasize intimacy, nostalgia, childhood, the home, and personal interests of your Cancer.
Create a photo album of all the special moments you shared with your Cancer.
Give your Cancer baby pictures of you.
Cancer loves taking baths so gifts for the bathtub will work wonders.
Alcohol, of course.
Mixed CDs as small personal gifts, perhaps accompanying romantic dates.
Cancers have hobbies and collections so add to their hobbies and collections.
Cancers is home-oriented so gifts for the home are a must. Books of interior design are at the top of the list or perhaps cookbooks.
Don't forget to bring gifts for Cancer's mother and family.
As I end this part (and I doubt I will have a part 3), perhaps you feel a little more comfortable dating a Cancer now that you have a sense of what makes them tick.
Good luck with your life and love.
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