Neg

What is a neg?

A neg is a back-handed compliment for the purpose of reducing the self-esteem and de-centering the power structure of a potential significant other.

In laymen’s terms, a neg is a comment that sounds like a compliment but has a subtle undertone of an insult. It isn’t an insult but can’t quite be called a compliment.

The classical neg line is, “nice nails: are they real?”

If a guy says to a woman, “nice nails,” he is complimenting her. When he adds, “are they real?” he isn’t insulting her but there is a negative innuendo.

The woman has been complimented but at the same time attention has been drawn to a negative quality. The result of this neg is to momentarily deflate her self-esteem. She becomes self-conscious at someone having made a comment on her nails not being real but the comment wasn’t an insult but rather a direct and sincere question at what was an obvious truth. Her nails weren’t real.

Negs need to be delivered with sincerity, otherwise they can become insults or attacks. Notice the neg doesn’t go: “those nails have such an ugly color!” That is an insult! One might say instead: “that is a popular color – I’ve seen a couple women with the same color already.”

“How cute” is usually a good way to end or start a neg. “How cute: your nose wrinkles up when you frown!”

Once the person’s self-esteem is momentarily deflated, they lose control over the situation. Typically a guy will compliment a woman as a way of expressing attraction, but the negative innuendo of the neg makes the woman think huh, does this guy like me or not. If the woman KNOWS the guy likes her then she is in control because she KNOWS the guy will do whatever to get in her pants. If she is uncertain of how the guy feels, then she is uncertain of how to ask.

Typically, certain women get hit on all the time. Guys may think they are complimenting the woman but they are actually annoying them. Their attractiveness has made them self-centered and a little haughty. They become somewhat negative and see all of their relationships as being superficial because men are only interested in good looks and sex. Great, another loser hitting on me. For many people, this attention becomes a means to an end: great, another guy hitting on me becomes “I can get free beer!” or “let’s make an example out of this guy.”

Instead of the over-used cliché, OMG, u r so beautiful, a guy has a better chance by negging the girl. How many times has a hot chick had a guy tell her how beautiful she is? The neg uses reverse psychology where the guy appears to be hitting on her but DOESN’T tell her she’s beautiful; he actually draws attention to something negative about her. What is going on? Is he interested or not?

Once you throw out a neg, don’t fish for feedback. Keep the conversation going, casual, like the neg didn’t matter.

If the results are good, then there is no need to neg again.

What will typically happen though is you will now enter into a fight for control. Typically a woman who has been negged will go back into “I’m attractive – do something for me” stage to regain control.

Women will do everything in their power to prove that you are like all the rest. A woman might respond with the typical low self-esteem trip, “what are you saying my nails are ugly” to throw a guy off balance. Your first reaction is to protest when you should remain neutral: “my sister-in-law worked in a nail salon so I tend to look at people’s nail a lot.”

One neg deserves another. Once you’ve negged her, do it again. “You’d look better with your hair up (or down).” Notice: not an insult but “you would look better” implies that she does not look good.

A neg doesn’t have to be routine though. Going from nails to hair isn’t a required routine.

Another common way that people recover from a neg is to ask “will you?” Will you buy me a drink? Will you call me? Will you do this or that? The answer is, no. She’s asking you to do something so that she can refuse you or use you.

Turn the table on her and say, no. Ask her to buy you a drink. If she does, then she is showing her respect for you. If she doesn’t, break off the conversation but don’t walk away. She might reinitiate the conversation.

By negging, your goal is to say, I am not interested in you. I am better than you. If a woman buys you a drink then she is trying to validate herself, show that she is worthy, because she is so used to taking her attraction for granted.

Negs are not the same as ignoring somebody. If you sit down next to somebody and don’t talk to them, you’re not going to get anywhere. A neg is actively ignoring someone, introducing yourself first and then showing the person that you aren’t interested.

Negs are not insults! Don’t say, gee, you look fat, and expect the woman to respond with anything other than a slap. “Nice hair” will always sound sarcastic. “I love your hair: you ever think about highlights?”

Don’t neg sensitive features, like braces, acne, stuttering, a chipped tooth, or what-not. These are sensitive issues and have years of built up resentment under them. Don’t go there.

It is best to go after things that women do specifically to draw attention to themselves, like fake nails or high heels.

Don’t neg an entire group of people. You’ll completely lock yourself out of the group.

Generally, the better looking the person, the more negs required. Three negs within three minute is the general rule.

Certain people, however, don’t need to be negged. If they look like someone who is insecure or has low self-esteem, there is no need to neg. Too much negging can tear a person apart. Save it for the stuck up people.

The best time to neg someone is right before you kiss them. It hurts and then heals. I once had a guy tell me I had chocolate on my face. He wiped it off and then kissed me right afterwards and then negged me again with "I don't know why I put up with you."

To help you practice and get an understanding of what a neg looks or sounds like, here are some examples of more popular negs:

• How old are you?
• Do that again
• Dude, Bro, Buddy – when used with a woman, it implies that she isn’t feminine to you
• You blink a lot.
• (when interrupted) Hello, I'm talking, geez
• (when interrupted) Excuse me... may I finish my sentence first?
• (when interrupted) I didn't ask you, silly.
• (when interrupted) Wait your turn, geez.
• Aww…your eyes are lovely… especially the left one!
• You are pretty…are you an EX model.
• You’re a model? Like a hand model or something?
• I had to come talk to you because you looked so cute from where I was standing!
• You are cute…in a kinda strange way!
• You’ve got an interesting figure!
• You look very stunning in this light.
• There's something attractive about you...I don't know what it is, but I'm curious to find out.
• Oh...you're one of those Bad Apples…aren't you!
• You don't have a chance.
• Yuck, how could you drink something like this?
• Do that again!!!? Your eyes just moved in a MASSIVE circle when you talked!!!!!
• Get Along: You and I would never get along. We're too similar.
• Oh my God...You’re dropdead gorgeous! That’s why I'm not going talk to you.
• You're definitely getting voted off the island!
• I don't think I like you.
• I love how you make this sound when you talk.
• I bet you're even prettier without so much make-up on.
• Hey, I like your (shirt, jeans, purse, etc.)....Did you get (it, them, those) new?
• You're too much of a nice girl for me.
• You're not (shoplifting, etc.), are you?
• Your hands are sweaty.
• I can't believe you said that! And I thought we have something here…you had to ruin it!
• Those shoes look really comfortable.
• Oooo...sick. You just spit on me!
• You talk a lot.
• You're nearly as tall as me...I like tall girls. Are those 3 or 4 inch heels?
• You've got something in your teeth (on your lip, chin, cheek, etc.)
• Hey, you're a 10. Well maybe a 7!
• You look kinda tired.
• No touchy.
• Hey you know what? I think its great how you make an effort to look good.
• Wait your turn.
• Make an X sign with your index fingers while moving next to the target.
• Yawn

Practice! Practice! Practice! Of course, these negs are aimed particularly at women but the reverse is also possible. I'll leave you to fill in the blanks and come up with your own.